the realist.

it's been years. here's to you--Amber Reed and James Cummings.

\\the realist.

sometimes i'm winning,
sometimes i have luck;
and sometimes i can't quite explain why things suck.

i usually don't mind it,
and i don't let it get me;
but then i sit still and end up writing a ditty.

about what i'm not sure,
and for what reason who knows;
its just a feeling i get from my head to my toes.

its when things are exciting,
and your hopes are quite high;
but deep down you wait 'till they fall from the sky.

it only goes so well,
and plans only so fun;
you keep standards low until you have almost none.

that way you don't falter,
and there's no disappointment;
sometimes a dose of reality can be the best ointment.

it will rain on the parade,
a goose will poop on the pier;
your bubble will pop, but have no fear--

you can't lose your hope,
since it's nothing you had;
you actually win instead of ending up sad.

that way you called it,
you already knew;
you do win for losing and it's satisfying, too.

you can't be let down,
since you were already there;
delays and cancellations--you haven't a care.

it's easier you see,
to expect the worst;
you don't have those pesky frustrations or hurts.

the plans fell through,
and the band is off beat;
then a ferret walks on by and pees on your feet.

no worries here,
i didn't expect a nice night;
but i can smile and relax because all along i was right.

then when things are fun,
and life seems just grand;
i'm even more grateful since it never was planned.

breather

Life aside, everything is alright tonight.

the scary, unhappy man

so, this happened.  i'm driving home from work with the windows down, blaring some oldies, enjoying the weather, and feeling pretty good about my life.

i exit onto highway 94 from 70 (i'm throwing in this detail because its a very busy part of st.charles) where the right-turn lane isn't really supposed to stop.  the guy in front of me starts pulling forward, so i look over my left shoulder to check the oncoming traffic for me to go.  unfortunately, guy in front of me slams on his breaks and as do i--only to realize for some reason my breaks didn't work too well and my car nudged his.  i won't even say 'rear-ended' because it was not even that involved.

guy throws his SUV in park--in the middle of a crazy busy intersection--and hops his little pale, round ass out of his vehicle to cuss me as opposed to any normal reaction like just pulling over to the side of the road to cuss me.

in any case, he decided that in lieu of solving the problem and us going about our days, it would be more productive and beneficial in this situation to just yell like the rotten, hairless banshee he resembled.

as i poke my head out of my window and say "hey... sorry.. let's.." and he cuts in with the arm flailing and otherwise abrasive body language saying, "what the fuck, man.  what the fuck were you doing.  fuck." i said, "well, nothing, driving, i thought you were pulling out so.." he interjects--"no i didn't fucking pull out anywhere" (obviously) then commands me to move back.  i put my car in reverse a few inches and he looks at his bumper, then back at me with the verdict.  "good.  no damage.  and i don't give a fuck about your car."  and at this point, he hops back into his vehicle and zips off.

i sat there for just a second thinking a few things--"damn i rear-ended someone... thank God it wasn't bad... how weird that he just sped off like that... did that just happen... i wonder if my car is damaged... what should i eat when i get home... i'll just call insurance when i get home..."

then i thought--what a horrible, nasty little man.  it is understandable that when someone was 'nudged' in their vehicle that they would be shaken up and upset.  but this wasn't shaken up and upset.  this world (as my perspective sees it) is so Godless, and i do believe that where there is not good, there is evil.  i don't believe in a gray area of nothing.  it got me thinking about all the litigation that removes the 10 Commandments from court houses, removes the word Christmas in businesses, removes prayer from schools, et al., and how it just makes me sad.  it made me sad for good people who have to deal with hollow, unhappy, lost people.  and it made me sad for the hollow, unhappy, lost person.

granted, i'm nowhere near perfect and i definitely have my down days. but i still, as a Christian, would not treat another human being with such disregard.  my friend Kyla just wrote about the importance of treating people nicely despite their hurtful actions toward you.  and, i guess that really is just the best thing we can do.

let me explain...

so IF you're reading this... and IF you know of my other blog... you may be wondering why i started another one without any sort of ending or obvious reason.

the other blog is private to the world *deviously glances over shoulder* but open to friends, as it is more of a diary.  it's gotten very heavy from years worth of living and learning, and i want to let all of that go and quite literally just start a new chapter.

the other one is called 'here's to yesterday'... so here's to tomorrow...