the last three days = taxing. i woke up this morning pretty grumpy, and as i checked my 200 e-mails that come in throughout the night i noticed a groupon for a discounted massage. i decided that sounded like a good idea... i was pretty stressed and i'm in the middle of running a LOT so i'm pretty creaky from all the exercise.
i purchased the groupon, and i looked forward to the massage the entire day. i went into the office, and at some point i painted my nails. earlier in the morning i had opened the blinds in there because i didn't turn on the overhead lights (i have a bizarre aversion to most overhead light fixtures) since my coworker was not in today (Tim you SUCK. by 'you suck' i mean i hope you are feeling better).
for some reason i never bothered to turn the lights on for nail painting.
finally 3 o'clock rolled around and i left the office to head toward the massage place. i was hungry since all i had for lunch was a cruddy, soggy salad from the government cafeteria. i say cruddy and soggy because i'm pretty sure i'm the only government worker who even bothers with the salad bar, which is only once a month at best, so they don't exactly have the freshest veggies.
i found the massage place and decided to kill time at a Lebanese cafe. i decided to eat outside, and the food was great but i was attacked by a baby bird.
finally i go in for my massage. i walked into the place, and the front room is a nail salon with little Vietnamese ladies walking around. i started wondering what kind of massage i signed up for and did 'deep tissue' mean what i thought it did...?
finally a round, blonde lady comes up from the back room looking for me. i follow her into the massage room and we chit chat about how our days were going. on our way back to the room, i'm pretty sure all of the nail women judged my self-painted nails.
in the room, she handed me a clipboard with some paperwork to fill out, asking what my name is, am i on any medication, what areas did i want worked, am i a psychopath, those sort of things. i filled it all out and handed it back to her. she looks over it, we discuss, and she just stays sitting there.
enter weirdness. so, usually the massage therapist discusses, then leaves you alone to undress and whatnot. they give you extra time for the whatnot. but instead, she just sat there.
i'm thinking, "so, is she going to leave, am i supposed to undress now, is she going to stay in here for that, usually they leave, couldn't she at least turn the lights down, why is she just sitting there, maybe people don't undress at this place, i wouldn't have eaten at the cafe if i knew someone was going to see me stark nekkid, maybe i undress elsewhere, i don't know what to do with my hands, why is she just sitting there"....
so naturally i ask, "so... do i undress now... oorrr...?"
a mutual 'what-the-f*ck' look came over both of our faces as an awkward pause soaked up a few seconds while what sounded like some hindu version of "do you hear what i hear" was playing softly over the CD player.
she got up and headed toward the doorway as she told me to undress and that she was starting me face-up. she'd knock when she came back.
so i shimmy out of my clothes and into the massage bed thing. she knocks, comes back, turned the lights down, and we made small talk for a few minutes and the massage went great.
until the end. so i'm laying on my front with my face in the little peep hole thing. she massaged my upper back and neck, then did a little head massage. nice. well, then she pulled on my pony tail. more than once. so it was no accident.
i thought, "did i inadvertently write that on my paperwork, or.... uh, no one has done that before during a massage, kind of... rough, or something. weird. but in a good way, but not really because that's weird, since this is a massage, um."
then she tapped me on my shoulder to wake me up, as if the hair pullin' didn't do it.
it was a really good massage, and she was nice or whatever. but... yeah that happened today.
weird.
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