extreme grocery shopping: a [justified] rant.

so i pull into the dierbergs parking lot.

i get stuck waiting for a huge pick-up truck, as it takes an excessive amount of time backing out of its parking spot. i wasn't one of those people who stalk shoppers as they roll their cart to their vehicle, piddle around looking for their keys, load the groceries in their trunk, load the babies into seats, drop the cart off at the rack, get in the car, adjust the seat, tinker with the radio, warm up the engine, then finally stick it in reverse... only to take an excessive amount of time backing out of the parking spot. i save that for the winter. this time, i was already halfway through the isle when they started inching back with reckless abandon as to who or what was behind it.

in any case, i get parked and go inside.

about the same time that i get my cart, a little haggard lady on a motorized scooter/cart takes off on her shopping journey as well and seemingly needs all the things i need. i go into the produce. garlic--check. the lady is on my heels. still.

for some reason i had a hell of a time finding these particular mini gold potatoes. and for some reason, i couldn't just get mini red potatoes or life-sized gold potatoes. i wheel around, looking for these things and the lady is all up in my business. at one point she even startled me as i was turning around a shelf. i didn't hear her stealth-mode-cart-scooter-thing and since she's sitting down and wheeling around i didn't see her head over the counters.

finally i get the potatoes and make a move toward the puff pastry. i was making a left-handed turn, and she comes zooming up on my left side from behind me and takes off past me, cutting me off mid-turn. sorry but just because you're putting around the grocery store on a scooter instead of walking doesn't mean you just have the right-of-way and can just roll around willy-nilly.

so i grab a bottle of wine on my way toward the puff pastry. i was bottlenecked into a thin isle between the meat counter and a free-standing cooler thing. a man is standing there with his eighteen misbehaved children with their huge plastic car cart in the middle of the walk way. i stood there, with no way out, and gave a polite 'excuse me' which fell on rude ears. he looked at me and we exchanged an awkward what-the-hell-move-i'm-not-moving-you're-impeding-my-shopping-agenda look.

puff pastry, check. on my way toward the check-out, some negligent mother let her brat kid take over the cart and block my path toward the door and the rest of my evening. that wasn't convenient.

i'm being rung up at the check-out. a dierbergs employee was behind me getting some grape drink (i was not in north county) and was watching what i had. i picked up two movies from the discount bin while i was waiting in line, and the lady decided to rummage through what had been run up and tell me all about the movies that i just purchased, one of which i have not seen.

finally, i make it out the door, pack my car, and get on my way for the evening. as i was waiting in the turn lane to exit the premesis, a thug was turning in. one of those skinny white boys who wear flat billed caps, clothes that are too large on them, and bump music in their teal colored 1992 honda civic hatchbacks.

you're pulling into dierbergs. you're not hood.